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Animals often are totally at peace with death.
Things come full circle and are finished. A flower in the garden isn't
expected to last forever. It shares it's beauty with us visually, it will
share it's essence with the butterflies, etc., then goes back into
the soil to spring forth again in another form later.
Animals seem to accept these things. We do not. We want the love to
last forever. IT DOES, but only in our hearts. No one can ever
take that away or diminish it in any way.
There is no great advice on this page that can stop the pain. We each go
over our very precious memories. It is part of the
process of having our beautiful dogs or any other animal.
But there is one piece of advice I would offer, always remember them in
your heart and mind, this has always been my way and talk about
them, it hurts at first but it helps with the pain of the loss, this
is something that has been shown to me which I feel could help others.
The Quality of Life, and the Quality of Death
The advice was shared with me by a vet who just happened to be a very
good healer as well as a vet, I was struggling with one of
my old dogs having to lift him up, etc. He said the ONLY thing that animal
had was the relationship between us. If I resented or had any trouble
with all I was doing and it damaged that relationship, I needed to be
very aware. In this case, obviously, we were dealing with an animal
who was not in pain just getting old.
At the death of this dog, this vet gave something I will treasure
forever.He gave me a short talk and some advice which is below.
There is grief and there is guilt. We all could have focused more and done
more. There were magic moments we may have missed in the mundane
course of life. It's natural to think about that. To an animal,
mostly likely it had a wonderful life. They drink deep of every
moment. When you come home from shopping or work to them
it's like having a birthday every morning to a small child. They have
total involvement and commitment to joy.
Dogs and cats do not think in terms of what could be. That is why
in training you must BE there when an infraction occurs, or the dog cannot
relate to what made you upset. They are focused upon the moment, and are
probably some of our greatest teachers for knowing the beauty of life in
the now.' So let the guilt go.
But the grief is a deep and very hard emotion to deal with. It
rips at your heart, down into the core of your being.
If you get the two confused, you can punish yourself something fierce. Guilt
and grief mixed is an endlessly painful cycle. The grief is a deep
and very hard emotion to deal with. This has helped me sort through
my emotions.
When you're dealing with a beloved animal that has lived a full life,
the guilt may be less, but it's still good that you be aware of
the difference I think I will always miss my loved ones.
We give with all our hearts as that is the only way, as humans, that we
can do it. The pain of loss seems unendurable. There is nothing, but
the passage of time, that helps.
I have learned one other thing over the years I think I will share.
Personally, I ask my animals where they want to be. Upon cremation (which
is what I usually do) I do want their ashes where they played and was
happy. Some quite place usually. Perhaps a trip to a field
where they played, or some place in which the animal had a great time in
life. But I do ask in case they have a preference. If I can't take them
there, I send mental pictures to them.
I also find that asking them to tell me exactly when they would like to
go, in the case of an ageing or suffering animal in which we are looking
at the timing of euthanasia, is very helpful. I just seem to know
how and when.
What a great gift to be able to die in the arms of someone who has loved
you so much! If we can get past the pain we feel, it is a
wonderful thing in a strange way.
Well, I since I'm this far down this road I will share part of one death
experience.
The grief is a deep and very hard emotion to deal with. It rips
at your heart, down into the core of your being.
If you get the two confused, you can punish yourself something fierce. Guilt
and grief mixed is an endlessly painful cycle.
It's a rare animal that communicates in words. Yes, I do some animal
communication. At the point of death, I think they must have help as
I have got some information from many animals. Call it imagination or put
this in whatever framework works for you:
I knew it was time by watching my boy. I had walked him to the place
where he loved going chasing the rabbits and anything else that moved. He
was excited and I knew this was to be his final resting place.
I had done it all to save him; x-rays, injections, powerful
drugs to help his lungs, etc. The time was coming fast when I knew
that I was going to lose him it was beginning to hurt every time that I
looked at him and saw the pain and suffering, when he put his head on my
lap and asked for me to let him go that last time I told him to go with
all the love that I had for him and to be happy on the other side free of
all his pain, but for the next 24 hours he ran and jumped and barked like
a little puppy when I heard that I knew that I had done the right
thing.
A hospice nurse friend explained that it is often that way. People
punish themselves for being out of the room when a
person dies, but frankly, it is when the emotional pull is not so strong
that they can let go.
I saw my boy going into death stages. I knew he was 'not there' as
much. As we went to the vet and had our private time beforehand, I asked
my precious boy if he was coming back. In my experience with animals
it is fairly rare for an animal to return. He said no, he was going
back to DOG. That is the general group consciousness of dogs.
I asked him why he had come here. He said, 'To show you the love you
had not had as a child."
I was obviously crying now. Then he said he wanted me to do
something. 'Give the love I gave to you to others."
And in a great rush of love into my heart, he was gone.
That's all I can manage to say for now as the tears are coming for him and
all my lost animals. I wish you peace. I hope these words help in
some way.
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